Soul Asylum - Chapter 11

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Sharifah tried to stand her ground but it was hard with the wind blowing strongly trying to push her closer to the cliff. Rafiq seemed unfazed by the wind.

 

            “What’s going on Rafiq?” shouted Sharifah against the loud booming of thunder and lightning. The cloud was darker and darker. Sharifah looked behind and saw that the bight sunshine place that she had fell into was getting distant.

 

            “I’m going home. I’m going to see Mak, Abah and Rozita forever. We’ll be happy just like we should be,” said Rafiq softly. The words seems to be entwine with the wind as the words seem to be floating everywhere.

 

 

            Home? What was he talking about ? Forever??

The winds was pushing strongly behind her , her feet moved forward controlled by the wind even though she was trying to move against it. She found herself  standing behind Rafiq. Sharifah could see everything clearly, the dark rough sea rising higher, she could feel the spray of water on her as the waves crashed on the bolder below the cliff. Rafiq was already soaked wet. He turned back to Sharifah and she could see him smiling happily.

 

            ‘Their calling me,” said Rafiq. Sharifah listened but she couldn’t hear anything. She could see that Rafiq was standing dangerously close to the edge of the cliff. Somehow this dream she was having was getting too real. She didn’t want to see what will happen if Rafiq jumped off the cliff..

 

 

                 OooOOoo. Sharifah looked up and saw that the owl had shifted to another tree nearer to them. It was pacing restlessly on its branch. Rafiq moved further the edge.

 

     “Wait!” screamed Sharifah, but Rafiq ignored hr this time and was about to step off the edge. Sharifah knew that had to take desperate measures. Without thinking she grabbed Rafiq’s waist and with all her strength pulled the big sized man from the cliff. Surprisingly the strong wind  that had pushed her to the cliff did not disturb them. Sharifah fell backwards with RAfiq thumbling on top of her.

 

  Sharifah groaned and looked at the heavy wait on her stomach. It was laughable that they were in the same position when they first met except that it was Sharifah that had fell on top of Rafiq.

Rafiq got up with a huff. His eyes blazing with anger. Sharifah tried to get up but was pushed down angrily by Rafiq.

 

     “What do you think your doing?” shouted Rafiq. Sharifah laid there looking up at the pale young man.

 

     “What made you sure that you will see them? What made you so sure that they will be happy to see you?”

 

Rafiq laughed as if she was a stupid girl.

 

    “Didn’t you see how they treated me? How they love me,” said Rafiq harshly. Sharifah looked at the angry young man. He really didn’t know his situation did he? One moment he was telling his life story –his true life story and the next he was going to the event occurring in the hospital ward, where his parents treated him differently- an event that his mind created for him as a form of relief from the pain that he was facing. Sharifah couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. Was that the only feeling that she had for him?

 

     Sharifah got up slowly as Rafiq turned towards the beckoning cliff.

 

     “Rafiq, your not dead. Not yet you know. Yur in a coma, laying in a hospital bed. You’ve been that way for almost a month now. None of this is true. It’ ust in your hea; Rozita….. your mother….your father. You just made them up,” said Sharifah . Her clothes was now wet from the spree from the increasing waves hitting the rcks below.

 

     “If I die, I can see them again,” argued Rafiq.

 

     “What guarantees that you would see them? What guarantees that your parents will be kind to you when they were never that way when they were alive,” said Sharifah finding strength , from her own words. She could sense that Rafiq was faltering. She only needed him to move away from the cliff. If he jumped, she didn’t want to think what will happen to her. Will she be trapped with him? Somehow the two of them was linked and with all her problems and self-consciousness that she as facing now, she didn’t want to be trapped in a fantasy.

 

     Rafiq didn’t say anything, for a moment Sharifah I’m in a coma now. I’ve known that f some time One moment I’m with my parents; the next I’m hearing voices from a distance and sometimes I can see this fuzzy, blurry images around me. Figures in white.”

 

     “This means your recovering. All you have to do is to wake up,” said Sharifah excitedly.

 

     “I dn’t want to. I want to stay here with them,” said Rafiq sorrowfully. He moved hi left foot back t the previous position, dangerously close to the cliff. He was fighting. Damn! Sharifah kicked the gound roughly. This was frustrating.

 

     “Bodoh, you know that. Your stupid, selfish jerk,” said Sharifah angrily. Surprised by her outburst, Rafiq stood stiffly. He didn’t turn nor did he move any further in front. Sharifah grabbed his rm and turned him towards her.

 

     “Do you know why you keep having the same images in the train.? Because you can’t let go. The baby in the mother’s womb – your leeching on to your past, absorbing it as if it is you destiny..The boy in one the cards- it was you, you were scared and lonely and that’s why you were hiding in the shadows, you didn’t want anyone o find you The image o the grave – it’s your grave, you’ve been having this mindset that you want to die, you deserve to die. These images been trying to tell you something but you ignored them and YOU,” said Sharifah pointing to the owl who was watching them with interest at the turn of event and was a little taken back when she pointed at it.

 

     “I still haven’t figured you out, yet,” hissed Sharifah. Rafiq was looking at his arm. It felt warm from her touch. “I’m trapped here with you and I so don’t want to be here.” She held harder to his arm even though he didn’t ddint make any move.

 

     “And you know what? I would rather go back to my life, take my exams and for once I’m not worried that I might bungle up my life. I am so jealous of you,” said Sharifah harshly.

 

All this time while she was talking, Rafiq didn’t look at her but when she said she was jealous, he looked up;  confusion was written all over his face. Sharifah looked hard back at him.

 

     “Do you know that your aunts and uncles have been here for you ever since you were in a coma. Aida’s been crying her heart out; between your parents and your relatives. I would rather take the living any time than the dead.”

 

Rfiq just kept quiet but Sharifah knew that some o her words had got into him. She realized that she was still holding on to his arm – an quiet a strong and muscular arm. Sharifah blushed at the thought even though she was supposed to be cross with him. She was about to release it when she heard a loud squawk.

Both of them looked up and saw the owl spread its wings and launched itself off the branch it was resting on and flew towards the two of them.

            Sharifah didn’t know whether it was her imagination or it was the place but she could have sworn the bird grew double its size as it flew towards the two of them. It didn’t stop or lessen it’s speed. It’s wing spread wider.

            The two of them dodge as the bird swoop down on them. Rafiq tried to back away fron the bird and forgot that he was inches from the edge of the cliff. He lost his footing and wildly grabbed Ssharifah as he lost his balance and fell backwards off the cliff.

Rafiq’s heavy weight was too much for Sharifah to sustained and she , herself was pulled off the cliff, down to the treacherous rocks below. Sharifah led out a piercing scream…..